May 2nd, 2005


How to Stop Breeding

I'm listening to Radio 5. Sorry, Five Live as it's properly called. There are various pundits and other voices discussing the forthcoming election. A surprising number seem drunk or similarly deranged. A woman is asking how we can stop creating the monsters, these feral children born of a giant queen McNugget that resides within the high-rise. That bit at the top, the place where people used to air their laundry that is now boarded up or behind a tamper-proof door.

Yesterday, at the bus stop, a man is drunkenly staggering along and asking for a cigarette. He starts talking to a couple nearby. "What can you do with these fucking animals?". I drift around to the other side to avoid him. He breaks off and addresses some other people. "Are you from Turkey? Well, why don't fucking go home then?" They get more money than him. Well, there's not much of value you can scavenge from Stamford Hill bins.

It's very early when I awake. I read for a while and then look at various sites here and there. I note the following:

1. Heston Blumenthal's The Fat Duck ["He's got an oval head, he didn't fit in, so they rejected him..." Five Alive continues...] is the subject of a health inspection. "Unsatisfactory aerobic colony count and coliform levels", the report mentions, and you can imagine that selective introduction of various organic contaminants is something that this chef might actually go for. Elsewhere, Zoe Williams writes:

"Clearly, if you like chitterlings, then for God's sake eat them. But it's not pure, or authentic or in any other sense meaningful [My italics]. Admit the affectation. Admit that cheese and onion crisps are still delicious. Admit that it's only food."

"Admit it! Damn you!" I don't think cheese and onion crisps are delicious. I don't claim they're not edible or even enjoyable at certain times. But is this what passes for decent journalism? I think I understand the point, but not their method of arguing it. The article reads like a disguised account of something else. Maybe an evening at St. John where they just bickered with their partner or didn't like the conversation they heard from the table opposite. Mind you, it sounds like they just don't eat at all.

2. I'm still awake so I trawl through various mp3 and music blogs. Largehearted Boy mentions that there's an interview with Dave Allen about the Gang of Four reforming for a US tour at Suicide Girls. Suicide Girls? I ponder. This from the band that once sang (Natural's Not In It):

The problem of leisure
What to do for pleasure
Ideal love a new purchase
A market of the senses
Dream of the perfect life...

Those were different times, my boy, it would seem.

3. I read up on the Family Movie Act that Filmbrain recently posted about. Oh dear.

It's still early. Unexpectedly, whilst dressing, I'm struck by an intense wave of nausea. I do feel better afterwards, perhaps because there's a two inch length of red and black string I've freed from within. Yesterday it was attached to a piece of boczek purchased from the Polish shop. I don't recall my first taste of meat yesterday being quite so disinhibited. I do hope I haven't hidden anything else in there. I have been wondering what happened to a certain cigarette case. Surely not...